It’s tough working in the movie industry as a new parent. You have to be gone for extended periods of time. It’s not fun, you have a job to provide, and that job can conflict with your family just like any other job. But it’s true, the freelancing filmmaker lifestyle feels untraditional and can make you feel like you're doing the wrong thing or at least question yourself.
Myself in the background with my kid hosting a film event. Bill Lane speaking at Feature & a short.
Obviously, going to work or having odd hours that makes you miss weekends or even full months does not mean you’re doing anything wrong. It can be hard because it does affect your kid. Young kids especially can seem to prefer one parent over another temporarily. In my experience they tend to prefer someone who can fully concentrate on them while they’re with them. Kids emotionally remember the last great feeling they had, as they’re emotional beings without a lot of history. So even if you don’t have a ton of time with your kid if you’re on a shoot, just save the energy to make it memorable for them when you do have time.
You won’t lose a lot and your kid will come around. Being gone for a while is tough. It’s imperative to just find ways to be in their lives with notes, calls, or something to let you know you’re always there for them and a part of their lives. I think it’s really as simple as that.